I am
...getting rained on in Tokyo.
...old enough to drink alcohol but not old enough to know when to stop.
...blogging since 02/22/03.

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

A trip to Africa and the speed of light
I know it's irrational but I'm currently holding a grudge against a girl because she made fun of my remarks on quantum physics in my dream. I have a record of confounding reality and weird dreamt-up stuff. Once I was still half asleep when I suddenly thought I remembered something:
Me: TS, hey, did that really happen?
TS [waking up]: What?
Me: That one time when we were having breakfast in Africa and then an elephant came and broke all the china on the table. Did that really happen?
TS: Do you really want me to answer that?

posted by Bunny at 1:53 PM

Monday, March 29, 2004

Protein in my carbs
As I emptied a pack of mie noodles into a pot of boiling water, a couple of little brown sesame seeds surfaced. Upon closer examination they turned out to be little brown beetles that had made their way from China (country of origin) to Germany subsisting solely on a diet of bone-dry mie noodles without a single drop of liquid for months.
It's ironic that water killed them in the end.

posted by Bunny at 5:04 PM

Sunday, March 28, 2004

What happened at the party I didn't want to go to in the first place
Let me relive the horrors that were the last few hours as I'm typing with numb fingers and a bruised wrist in the middle of the night. Tonight the fun event club of my business school organized one of the bigger parties and it was themed "spring break". First of all, Germans don't have anything corresponding to the wild orgies that are classified as "spring break" in the US. Second, the temperatures were below freezing which made it a "Let's not die from hypothermia"-party rather than a "Dance around in your bikinis and show your boobies"-party. Third, there were three toilets in the ladies for about 800 party-goers.

I drank three cokes during the four hours I was at the party. Being sober doesn't automatically take away the fun of a party. You can have a lot of fun when you are sober. You have intelligible conversations when being sober, you don't trip that often while dancing, and you don't make out with people that you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole in daylight. This time being sober meant standing in a overcrowded room, watching two go-go dancers dressed as slutty nurses do a lesbian makeout session on a platform and getting poked by the mass of drunks which believed that they were actually dancing. There was a lot of beer spilling and bottle breaking involved.

At 4 am the music was finally turned off and the people were to finish their last beer. Meanwhile security shooed all people away from the building and consequently blocked the access to the restrooms which I was greatly in need of. I expected to get back home soon so I refrained from peeing in the adjacent vineyards like many others did.* However, the intoxication of most of my friends had progressed so far that their drinking speed was reduced dramatically. We lingered for another hour. Until then my urge had transformed into a sharp pain in the abdomen but after a lot of dawdling on the part of my friends, I finally walked home with TS whose apartment (and toilet) is closer to the university than mine. At that point I couldn't tell anymore whether I'd already pissed all over me because I had no feelings in my lower body region whatsoever but I chose to think that I had retained dignity and still held it.

When TJ passed us on his bike, TS felt obliged to have a race with him. TS was holding my hand and so he pulled me with him as he started running. This was not his brightest idea because I tripped in the course and was dragged across the floor for a couple of feet. As a result I had dirt on my pants and in my pants. In addition to that there were jabbing pains in my hand and butt but I made it to the bathroom on time where I scattered the dirt all over the bathroom floor when I pulled down my pants. Now I have a huge bluish bumpy bruise on my left wrist and a splinter in my bleeding palm which I can't pull out. I hope my hand will rot off so that TS has a reason to be permanently sorry for being a bloody %?&$/? that has to prove his manliness by starting unnecessary competitions with TJ.

* The wine from these vineyards is served during the festivities on graduation day. Why not drink piss directly?

posted by Bunny at 7:03 AM

Friday, March 26, 2004

Don't point that thing at me
Tonight a short documentary about my business school was aired on the local TV channel. We recognized a lot of people from the class of 2004 and I still wonder what makes people volunteer to be interviewed for these documentaries because the probability to make themselves look like totally daft asses is quite high given the high amount of footage that the cameraman shoots of them. The longer you let a person to talk, the faster the accumulated stupidity content of his speech increases:
Interviewer: Shouldn't you take a job in Germany after graduation in order to help overcome Germany's economic recession instead of working abroad?
Student: Uhm... you know, I don't think that one person can change the economic situation by himself. Germany will get out the recession by itself. And in five years, I will be back in Germany and then I'm there.

You, my dear birdbrained fellow student, will not be forgotten. I have it on videotape.

posted by Bunny at 11:03 PM

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Glad I didn't pay any money to see this movie
When watching the end of AI for the first time yesterday, all I could think of was "What's up with Spielberg and his alien fetish? Just because it's SF it isn't imperative to throw in some extraterrestrials."

posted by Bunny at 5:11 PM

Monday, March 22, 2004

Monday's a bitch
I've recovered from Friday's hangover, went to an incessantly boring party on Saturday (when the thought of alcohol still made me nauseous) and survived Tupperware girl's last semestrial waffle and tea party ever without having to eat a single waffle. Just when you think people are not that bad, there's always another Monday to prove you wrong. Besides, what kind of person starts to call a crummy get-together with a few waffles "the legendary traditional waffle baking" after the first time she organizes it?

posted by Bunny at 6:07 PM

Saturday, March 20, 2004

No more cocktails for me
The good thing about alcohol is that it takes your problems off your mind for about an evening and a day. In the state of tipsiness you don't care about your problems because you're having fun and the day after you're too hung over to think about anything besides vomiting. The downside is that your teeth have hell to pay for all the gastric acid moving the wrong way of the digestive tract.

posted by Bunny at 8:01 PM

Thursday, March 18, 2004

If you look for funny, move along... whiny is all you'll get here
Not feeling any better today and not looking well either due to a puffy eye incident yesterday. I have to complete a marketing group project that I accidentally agreed to do and now it turns out to be much more work than we all expected. I don't need the credits for it so I would just abandon and fail the project if it weren't for my team members. As I can't quit, the irrational perfectionist part of my personality has taken over and wants to make everything great. I just have spent about an hour to make a nice slide master for our powerpoint presentation (and I'm not one of these computer illiterate people that don't know how to create a textbox or how to insert a bullet point). Basically I'm putting a lot of effort into something which I won't benefit from at all. Sounds a lot like the rest of my life.

posted by Bunny at 2:22 PM

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Everybody is working against me
Just as I find myself in the deepest emotional slump this year, spring decides to go parading with its gang of happy sunrays and warm temperatures... right in front of my nose. Cursed be the earth's tilt.

posted by Bunny at 6:41 PM

Monday, March 15, 2004

Environmentally conscious.... not
In Germany McDonald's has a new marketing campaign: customers receive a McStrohhalm (something that would translate into McStraw in English) along with every milkshake they purchase. The McStrohhalm basically is a straw with a piece of paper tucked inside, entitling you to a kg of gold, free McDonald's food or nothing at all. It is designed in a way that one can push out the piece of paper with a regular drinking straw. So instead of just handing you a little piece of paper, McDonald's gives you the piece of paper plus a straw that you shouldn't use as a straw plus a wrapper that reminds you not to use the straw as a straw.

posted by Bunny at 3:08 PM

Thursday, March 11, 2004

Animals bereft of their instinct of self preservation
Unsettling: Ads which star pigs promoting the consumption of pork chops or chicken offering their eggs to hungry humans voluntarily. These marketing guys do way too much coke.

posted by Bunny at 11:17 PM

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

I changed my mind
Pictionary is not enough of a reason to start liking humans again. Little bits of shaven pubic hair (or armpit hair, I didn't bother to look close enough to tell the difference) all over the shower floor and a person prick that told me that he would be on my working group but then joined another one are enough to keep up my streak of misanthropy.

posted by Bunny at 7:53 PM

Monday, March 08, 2004

When board games are the reason to keep in touch with humanity
250 new spam mails: That's the punishment for staying away from the internet for four days. But I'm happy to announce that I am back for good. Friends won't get into the way of my internet time anymore, not after a discussion in which I couldn't convince someone that the medical term "tendovaginitis" has something to do with pains in the forearms and not with vaginas (vaginae?). I think I blew the social interaction fuse in my brain last week and can never hang out with more than two people again. I probably won't have to anymore because the full moon has transformed me into the antisocial bore that drinks sodas while everybody else orders cocktails. But that's okay. Next time my landlord's cat sneaks into my apartment I'll just trap it inside my room and never let it return to its rightful owner. It can help me sort my dirty laundry and purr occasionally. On a second thought, I don't care too much about litter pans in my apartment, let alone cleaning them. You can say a lot of bad things about humans but they at least know how to use a bathroom... and how to play Pictionary.

posted by Bunny at 7:05 PM

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Stream of consciousness
The start of this semester has come to me as a shock after two months of simply writing the thesis. I have to get used to sitting through a 90 minutes lecture again. The exposure to the professors' self-important monologues is physically excruciating. This torture also spurs the genesis of weird dreams. Today I dreamt that I was on my wedding and didn't recognize the male stripper from my hen night because I had been too drunk to remember that there had been a stripper at all. Then my freezer broke down and I had to pay a fine for it. Talking of freezers... it's time to stop hoarding and start eating the canned, frozen and instant food I have stored in the kitchen because I don't plan to take the stuff with me when I move out in a couple of months. Let's see if I'm up to eating instant chicken soup seven days in a row.

posted by Bunny at 4:46 PM

Monday, March 01, 2004

This year I missed it
Thanks to a little phenomenon called 'time zones' the Oscars usually take place at a time when decent people are sleeping and indecent people do anything but sleeping in Germany. My best friend and I used to sneak out of the boarding school and watch the Oscars in a movie theater that had the TV broadcast on the big screen. We had a picknick in the theater with sandwiches and champagne in plastic champagne glasses so that we watched everything from start to finish (including the "this is from Gucci and my necklace is from Cartier"-ramblings on the red carpet). We usually returned just in time for the first class on Monday morning with 'early morning walk'-air in our lungs and pure caffeine pumping through our veins. Eventually I fell asleep in third period or so but that was only religious ed so that it never was the Academy Awards' fault that I missed any drops of wisdom instilled in school.

posted by Bunny at 7:53 PM

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