I am
...getting rained on in Tokyo.
...old enough to drink alcohol but not old enough to know when to stop.
...blogging since 02/22/03.

Thursday, January 29, 2004

Pain and beauty
In return for the punching ball TS gave me for Christmas, I gave him a present as useful as his. I figured that the best presents are things that people want to have but wouldn't buy on their own. So I got TS a gift basket filled with body lotion, massage oil, other good stuff and a self-made gift certificate for a metrosexual spa-day with me. He now is quite attached to his face peeling which leaves a tingling sensation on the face after you rinse it off. TS thinks it feels very refreshing while I am under the impression that the peeling eats off patches of my skin that I'd rather keep. Today we tried out the bioré strips that are supposed to be good against blackheads. Worked fine with TS while it felt like ripping off a very sticky band-aid for me. For the rest of the day my nose was shiny as a well polished pink bowling ball. Lesson learnt: Leave the cosmetics to TS.

posted by Bunny at 11:47 PM

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Must be love
It seems that TJ and JW are trying to find new ways to annoy each other so that TJ has reached a new level of weirdness. When the two cuddle TJ places his tongue onto something JW wears until she notices that there's a wet spot on her clothes and freaks. I'm glad TS thinks it's disgusting, otherwise I'd have to wear water-repellent clothes for the next few weeks.

posted by Bunny at 4:54 PM

Sunday, January 25, 2004

My history of roomies
I've had my share of agreeable and disagreeable roomies since the age of 16 when I transferred to a boarding school. I tend to be quickly annoyed by little things, especially when they accumulate as I interpret them to be the expression of my roomies' inconsiderate, self-centered personalities.
Roomie experience #1: My first roomie was RP who would've never become my best friend if we hadn't lived together. Soon after living together we became known as "the symbiosis" to our circle of friends. It was a fun time and she always held my hair whenever I bowed to the porcelain god after a long night out.
Roomie experience #2: For the final year of high school RP and I moved into an apartment together with another girl from our class. It turned out that the other girl liked depilating her legs with a epilator and leaving the hairs in the bath tub for the next person to clean. Other offences included never taking the trash out, leaving a half-eaten pizza in the kitchen for a week, using up the toilet paper but never replacing it and similar annoying things. The most memorable incident was when RP and I baked her a fancy birthday cake and she invited people over to eat it in her room without offering us a single crumb of it.
Roomie experience #3: Exchange semester in Grenoble, France, 2002. TJ and Janman, a fellow student from our university, were quite agreeable although TJ had the habit of getting up at 4 pm and then walking around the living room in his boxer shorts and Norwegian wool socks. We mainly lived of crème fraîche, baguette and red whine and at this point I found out that it wasn't so bad to live with guys as long as you put them in charge of cleaning the toilet. The only stupid thing they did was buying two pet goldfish which died a tragic death because we overfed them.
Roomie experience #4: That is the lamented flatshare of Nottingham that you might have heard from my first few posts. Three Spanish girls, a Danish gal and me. The lessons learnt: Spanish girls that have always lived with their parents prior to coming to England and I don't mix well. Excessive cooking with olive oil leaves a sticky coating on all the surfaces in the kitchen. Listening to trance music causes brain damage. Danish girls that run marathons are nice.
Roomie experience #5: After #4 I was not fond of the idea of another all-girl flatshare but unfortunately I'd already signed the contract before my exchange semesters. Moreover I was too lazy to look for another apartment. Big mistake.
If it weren't for JW I would call this the worst flatshare experience. JW is real fun. Unfortunately this doesn't change the fact that Tupperware girl is the worst roomie I've ever had. I recently just noticed that Tupperware girl has the same first name as the girl from my senior year. I should've seen the omen before it's too late.

posted by Bunny at 4:04 PM

Friday, January 23, 2004

Fresh orange juice makes me happy
I haven't poisoned any plants so far but I have thought of other gruesome things that I can do to Tupperware girl such as putting hydrochloric acid into her shampoo or mixing laxative into her food. Of course, I won't do any of this because otherwise TS will think that I'm a complete psycho that might do something similar to him as well. It's probably not worth the planning time and the effort of purchasing various harmful objects anyway.
Instead of getting my revenge by breaking laws, I produce as much trash as possible by squeezing oranges while she's on kitchen cleaning duties. Today I drank the fresh orange juice of 4 pounds of oranges. That way I can indulge my passive-aggressive personality while also eating healthily. I'm in a better mood already.

posted by Bunny at 4:25 PM

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Pubescent fridge
My refridgerator hates me. It freezes everything it can even though I switched it to the lowest setting. I've had glacial cucumbers, slush in my coke bottles and ice crystals on my cold cuts. The coke and meat can be thawed but the frozen cucumbers are inedible. The only thing that escaped the mighty forces of frost are little yogurts. I don't understand what I did to the fridge. I've cleaned it when its former owner left it unplugged with four formerly frozen pizzas in them and always gave it enough food to cool. Despite all the care I gave to the fridge, it turned against me. I hope it's just a phase so that we'll get along again when it's grown older and more mature.

posted by Bunny at 11:31 PM

Saturday, January 17, 2004

More Tupperware issues
In the age of DVDs the video recorder is an archaic machine prone to be extinct in a couple of years but it still comes in handy to record your favorite shows so that you don't have to align your schedule with the TV guide. I've recently brought one from home and managed to program that stupid thing even though that did cost me the best hours of my life. I was really looking forward to having The Simpsons recorded today while I do other stuff at TS' apartment.
Good plan, poor implementation. While I was away, Tupperware girl decided that a video recorder doesn't need any electricity and unplugged it. This means that I don't get to watch the Simpsons tonight and have to reprogram the resetted video recorder because Miss Tupperware has the technical understanding of a brick. I think poisoning her plants will make us even. Liquid soap should do the trick.

posted by Bunny at 5:59 PM

Friday, January 16, 2004

Returning on a jetplane
TS is back from Indonesia. He's the same as ever: tired as ever, exhausted as ever, pale as ever. It seems that the time he spent in Carita was spent sleeping during daytime so that he barely caught any sun. He claims he lost 4 kg due to his intensive exercise training but looks the same. It's funny that he's so concerned about his weight as he really is in good shape but it seems that compared to his three brothers he's Jabba the Hut. I don't care, I need a soft bosom for a pillow.

posted by Bunny at 7:01 PM

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Eating less, breathing less
My new year’s resolution is to lose about 10% of my weight which would leave me with plenty of muscles, bones and fat to prevent me from accidentally falling through the drain in my shower. So far I’m doing quite well. The most important thing about a new year’s resolution is that you have to announce it to your surroundings so that default will result in public shame and disgust because of your lack of discipline. This will be an additional incentive to keep my promise because if my bad conscience was my only weight-loss supervisor, right now I’d be finding out how many chocolates fit into my mouth at once while sitting in a bathtub full of whipped cream. At the moment I’m not following a special diet such as restraining myself from eating food that starts with a letter other than X but I will wear overly tight clothes as a constant reminder of the resolution. This is a little uncomfortable and hinders breathing but it’s quite effective. The only downside is that people that never perceived me as a fat person before will certainly change their mind when looking at my flabby parts pouring over the too tight jeans. This downturn, however, is negligible as the number of such people is one-digit according to my estimates.

posted by Bunny at 2:50 PM

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Spelling bee
I'm a pedantic, anal-retentive person therefore I like this list of the top 100 most often misspelled words in English. If you checked for spelling mistakes at group hug, the most frequently misspelled word there would be masterbate masturbate. If you are capable of performing the deed, you ought to be able to spell it.
And you people that would rather obsess about carbs instead of orthography, go eat a burger wrapped in lettuce.

[link 1 & 3 via The Morning News]

posted by Bunny at 6:54 PM

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Watch your head
Yesterday TJ gave me a lift back to the minuscule village that we must call our home for another seven months. Whenever we're stuck in a car for more than 10 minutes, we tend to talk about weird topics because we're both know-it-alls that don't believe each other unless the other person can produce written proof of his/her claim. A major part of yesterday's conversation revolved around whether airplanes actually have closed systems for their toilets. TJ argues that the current models have such a system but older airplanes used to have open systems which dropped the "excess baggage" during flight. I'm not so sure about the older models statement but have no way to prove him wrong as I lack the energy to research this fact. What I did find out though is that people still have a slight chance to get hit by frozen toilet waste when the discharge valve is leaky.

posted by Bunny at 12:09 PM

Sunday, January 11, 2004

I got less money from the tooth fairy than you did
You could call me a reverse vampire if your definition of a vampire is a person with very prominent upper eyeteeth. Reversed insofar that my eyeteeth are the opposite of prominent as they're remnants of the days when I was still afraid of the monster living in the toilet. These are milk-teeth that decided that they didn't want to get evicted. My orthodontist wanted to pull them because he claimed that they'd fall out on their own anyway in a year at latest. I was 11. After more than ten years my milk teeth are still here and I've come to think of it as a "survival of the fittest" process. They aren't any ordinary cute little milk teeth anymore but (with time and friction) have evolved into razor sharp little weapons which can cause bleeding. It might be a new mutation leading to a new better humankind, who knows. I think it's time to think of a cool X-men name for me.

posted by Bunny at 10:52 PM

Friday, January 09, 2004

Lots of needles
TS still has tenosynovitis. On both arms. It's been five months and he claims that it hasn't gotten better with conventional Western medical science. As he's currently hanging out in Indonesia with nothing to do, he went to see an acupuncturist yesterday. The treatment started as one would expect with TS getting his forearms decorated with a considerable amount of needles. Then it got painful and according to TS' accounts the acupuncturist pushed the needles deeper into his arms, put them out again, slapped his forearms really hard before applying a lotion that caused a burning sensation on his arms. Then the guy poked his index into the soft spots located near TS' collarbone and elbows which wasn't that pleasant either. TS also mentioned something about damage done to his fingernails.
My guess was that the acupunturist happened to hate my poor little darling for whatever reasons and therefore tried to hurt him as much as he could because TS wouldn't know the difference between remedy and torture. TS wasn't so sure about my hypothesis: "I think he rather liked me. He kept telling me 'Oh, you're so handsome and young.' "

posted by Bunny at 11:15 PM

Thursday, January 08, 2004

The retro fashion wave is horrible. Good thing I was too young during the eighties to decide by myself what to wear, otherwise I would've been sorry for that lack of taste that was the decade.
It was refreshing to visit a real university for a change, i.e. an institution that offers a wide range of sciences besides business administration and with a heterogeneous crowd of students instead of a flock of consultant and investment banker wannabes in pink shirts. Found a couple of useful books for my final thesis in the university library but the price I paid for it was absent-mindedness and a short attention span for the rest of the day. Somehow these are frequent but inexplicable side-effects of lingering in places with a many a vessel storing the wisdom of men. This led to the following conversation with my dear friend Gina with whom I was browsing through a H&M store in the evening.
Me: Gina, look at this! That's a really ugly skirt.
Gina: Uhm, this is a tube shirt.
Me: Ah, right. [staring at the perfectly symmetrical tube shirt for 10 seconds] But which side do you wear up?
Gina and I continue to browse through some gaudy stuff. I pick up some weird-shaped pants.
Me: What's this supposed to be? Hip Hop pants?
Gina: Annie, this is the "big is beautiful" section!

posted by Bunny at 12:39 AM

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Warmth and protection
Who would have thought that the solution to all of my problems would be a hot water bottle? And to think of all the years that I have done without one... but those days are over. From now on, I will never have cold feet or hands, I will never return to a cold bed again (even when TS is on vacation) and I will always be able to have some tea (provided that I also carry teabags with me). And the best thing about it is that it's also suited for whacking people with (I haven't tried yet but I'm not afraid to use it in case of danger or annoyance).

posted by Bunny at 2:59 AM

Saturday, January 03, 2004

I've lost two of my five senses but in return I was granted the sense of feeling my blood pumping through my head
So far the new year hasn't been good to me. Two days ago, I contracted a cold bordering to flu. It hasn't gotten better so that I'm deprived of the sense of smell and the sense of taste. This didn't help me with the late Christmas present for my mom: my brother and I made lunch for her today based on a Jamie Oliver recipe because she loves his show (which sounds awful in its dubbed German version, by the way). I even baked some bread. Sadly I was unable to tell whether the meal was any good. All I can say is that the texture of the food was normal. My mom said she liked it but being the kind and lovable person that she is, she would have said the same thing if I had served her grey mush made out of cardboard.

posted by Bunny at 7:26 PM

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