I am
...getting rained on in Tokyo.
...old enough to drink alcohol but not old enough to know when to stop.
...blogging since 02/22/03.

Monday, September 29, 2003

Run Annie run
I had to hand in a paper at the examination office. Because I missed the opening hours of the examination office some of my fellow last minute paper writers and me sped on the autobahn in order to send the paper at the post office at the Frankfurt airport because it's open until 9 p.m. We ran the whole way from the parking block to the post office. If I hadn't been out of breath I would have laughed hysterically at the resemblence to the amazing race. Sleep deprivation isn't pretty.

posted by Bunny at 11:30 PM

Saturday, September 27, 2003

You got mail
Recipient: FutureMe
Date: 09/27/2013
Subject: Hi there! (Do not delete, this is no spam!)

Dear FutureMe,

I wish the email-writing thing would also work the other way around so that you could tell me what to say when someone asks “Where do you picture yourself in ten years?“ in a job interview. But obviously this would tear up the fabric of time and space, the world would explode and the apocalyptic riders would come and bring death, famine, pestilence and war among us ... except for the fact that the latter already happened. As I am left without the means to destroy the universe as we know it, I will try to keep you entertained by telling you what I think will happen in ten years from 2003.
[job interview version] In ten years from now I picture myself in a high management position abroad. After working for a couple of years, I completed my dissertation in less than a year, so that people had to call me doctor and respect me despite the fact that I am young and female. I have a loving family with an overly bright kid which does calculus while watching Sesame Street and a husband that supports my career, i.e. cooks and does the laundry. By marrying I got rid of my unpronounceable family name which made introductions a terrible ordeal. Combined with the fact that I changed my first name so that my correspondence isn’t addressed to “Mr.” all the time, I will have the positive side-effect that none of the people that I knew in the past can track me down and beg for money because they chose to be poor scientists or artists. So life's pretty good if it weren't for the dependency on valium.[/job interview version]
And now the “What I really think will happen”-version:
[real version] In ten years emails will be obsolete. Therefore you, FutureMe, will never get this little letter. You, however, will not be bothered by never receiving this email because there will be a lot of robots which serve your every need and desire (... well, maybe not every desire...). Moreover, robots also do all the thinking for mankind so that you can just hang out in your massage chair and do nothing more than to exist. Lucky bastard. [/real version]

Yours faithfully, Annie

posted by Bunny at 7:29 PM

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Taking the sauce out of life
Life in a village means that you have to drive to another, slightly bigger village to eat at McDonald's. Today I had the rare cosmopolitan experience of eating there. I ordered a McRib, something I hadn't eaten in maybe more than five years. In my memories the McRib is a lump of food drenched with BBQ sauce so that a wet towel automatically comes along with the order. You probably can imagine my amazement when the vendor didn't put a wet towel on my tray. When I opened the McRib box, I found a rib-shaped pork patty in a bun. There were hints of sauce in the center of the burger but nothing capable of besmearing my whole face and torso.
You know you're old when the act of eating will never be messy again. It won't take long and I will carry around my personal set of fork and knife so that I will never have to touch food with my hands again.

posted by Bunny at 11:00 PM

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Not my biggest problem but ...
Now that I've discovered my second favorite condiment next to chili sauce, I have to find out what I can eat with instant sauce hollandaise besides asparagus.

posted by Bunny at 8:53 PM

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Esthetics over functionality
As the work load of this semester will leave me without the resources to party and get drunk for the present, I will restrain my entertainment to a little experiment that I've started today.
The living room hosts an armchair that Tupperware girl has decorated with two sofa pillows. I admit that it looks nice but the additional esthetic properties of the armchair are negatively correlated to the comfort of the seating (two pillows take a lot of the seating space this chair offers). I frequently move the pillows from the armchair to the adjacent sofa but every time I return to the living room the pillows have mysteriously returned to their former place. From now on I will make a point of removing the pillows. I want to know how many days it will take Tupperware girl to give up putting them back. Let the mind games begin.

posted by Bunny at 8:46 PM

Observation of the day
At noon a swarm of swallows chases a bright green parrot above my head.

posted by Bunny at 4:51 PM

Sunday, September 21, 2003

That cocktail party I went to Saturday night turned out to be the like all the parties at our university except for the fact that TS was more drunk than usual. The party performance: Some skimpy dressed girls did a Brazilian dance. A friend of TS was visiting and I'm afraid that he might have gone awandering in the vineyards with Tupperware girl and done what a drunk red-blooded man would do with a blonde girl. Some people spilled their drinks on me that I wiped on the third shirt TJ changed into today. I danced shamelessly with some men and got a fake flower necklace in return and now my feet hurt so that I have to lie down. Business as usual. I wonder if the yogurt maker's still eating worms. Maybe it doesn't have to. Judo classes can be very rewarding.

posted by Bunny at 1:06 AM

Friday, September 19, 2003

Cruel world
We have finished furnishing our kitchen so that one of the kitchen counters now hosts a kettle, a toaster, JW's small oven, my ricecooker and Tupperware girl's yogurt maker. On this playground of kitchen appliances my physically superior ricecooker is the bully that takes all the other appliances' lunch money. Then it makes the yogurt maker eat worms for its entertainment (the nerdiest one always get picked on the worst). Currently, the ricecooker tries to recruit the oven to be its henchman so that it doesn't have to dig up the worms by itself while the kettle and the toaster mourn the loss of their lunch money silently ignoring the yogurt maker's pleas for help. After all, no lunch is better than worm lunch.

posted by Bunny at 7:41 PM

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Time to get a hair cut: The photographer's coming to shoot our yearbook pictures.
Actually it's not really a yearbook but a collection of the seniors' CVs which will be sent to the high profile companies that sponsor my little business school for their recruiting needs so that the class of 2004 is discussing whether smiling with or without showing teeth looks more friendly and if girls should wear a ponytail to look more professional. I try to convince TS that a little dab of powder would make his slightly shiny nose and forehead disappear but he insists on trusting the photographer's retouching skills.

posted by Bunny at 6:16 PM

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Eye candy
We have a new cute young professor at the finance department. Unfortunately he has no fashion sense. Apart from that he's all that a girl is looking for: handsome with a good income... if it weren't for the ring on his finger. I wonder however if he's really married. If he had a wife, she would definitely have prevented him from dressing in an anachronistic brown suit matched with a pink shirt and a way too short brown-white-yellow striped tie at the first day of the lectures, right?

posted by Bunny at 4:35 PM

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Near-death experience
I have another bullet point to add to my list of personal freak accidents: I was merrily riding my bike along the car-park of the university when suddenly a car exited the car-park at high speed and stopped right in front of me. I tried to brake but still rode right into the side of the car. While I lay half on the hood and half on the handle bar, a hysterical girl got out of the car and asked if I was okay. I had no severed limbs nor broken bones, so I told her that I was okay and rode home. Back home I've noticed that I had borne an injury from my close encounter with death...my crotch's bruised. Now I have ice cubes down my pants and I won't be able to cross my legs for a while.

posted by Bunny at 4:26 PM

Monday, September 15, 2003

First day back at university
Taking notes is painful as I'm not used to do any handwriting any more since I spent the last few months exclusively typing on my laptop. The only thing that I can write properly by hand is my signature.
Otherwise it was a typical first day back: almost fell asleep in a lecture, freaked out about the work load and ate bad cafeteria food. They actually replaced the old caterer with the company that is also the cleaning company of the university. Scary.

posted by Bunny at 8:04 PM

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Three minutes of fame
Believe it or not but my picture is in the German magazine Wirtschaftswoche. Of course, it would have been far better if they had featured a one page portrait of me along with an article titled "Germany's new star" but in reality the article is about German universities. The picture was taken two years ago in our class and I am one of the little heads in the last row. It's funny to see my immensely bored expression among all those people staring reveringly at the professor and absorbing all his wisdom. (In fact, everybody was bored to death as well but only I failed at hiding it well. I guess I will never have an article titled "Germany's best hypocrite".)

posted by Bunny at 11:28 AM

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Food attributes
I have problems with ambiguous food whose taste cannot be categorized properly either into the "tasty food" category or the "gross food" category. Therefore I believe it's inappropriate to call bad food "interesting" because there really is food with a flavor that cannot be correctly named otherwise as "interesting" if you have an accurate way with words. To name one example: Apple sorbet with mint and chocolate bits.

posted by Bunny at 8:13 PM

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

I'm depressed. Therefore I will spend the evening chain-smoking and listening to chansons by Jacques Brel. I'd cry but I ran out of tissues. Besides, crying yourself to sleep gives you puffy eyes in the morning.

posted by Bunny at 8:26 PM

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Home improvement
Instead of flowers and chocolates, TS gave me a giant leaf as a token of his eternal love. When I hang it over my bed, I'll be just like one of those little fairy thingies that live in flowers and trees.

posted by Bunny at 5:48 PM

Dinner conversation
JW: If I were ice cream, what flavor would I be?
TJ: I don't know. Something that tastes sweet... most of the time. Lemon.
JW: You'd be pistachio ice cream. You like foreign words like "pistachio". And you're green with nuts in it.
Me: And what flavor would I be?
TS: You'd be bubble gum. Quite tasty but sorta sticky.
[deleted sexual innuendos]
Me: Well, TS, you'd be the cheapest 2 gallon vanilla ice cream at the supermarket.... but at least there'd be a lot of you.
[Everybody proceeds to throw ice cream at each other, except for TS who is a sissy and hides in the closet]

posted by Bunny at 12:34 AM

Sunday, September 07, 2003

Weird dreams: Nightmare marathon
Having the misfortune of owning a mattress with the dimensions of 90x200cm in combination with having a boyfriend who is waiting for his own bed to be delivered since two weeks, I spent most of the nights sleeping on the floor as TS only has mastered the art of diagonal sleep so far. This leads to a sore back and many dreadful dreams during which I'm almost killed by giant cats with magical powers or forced to dance ballet in order to save my cover as an agent spying on an evil professor with ambitions of world domination. Damn you, IKEA, once again!

posted by Bunny at 7:46 PM

Saturday, September 06, 2003

Saturday madness
Instead of initiating a sitcom watching marathon like every Saturday, I traded the cozy spot on the couch with a real marathon through the wondrous land of IKEA.
After reading a catalog about IKEA-land, you venture there with the expectation of handsome, cheery IKEA-people who go awandering through the towers of accessories that make living in your apartment a pleasurable experience. In reality there are masses of irritated and badly dressed co-shoppers that clog the paths in order to gaze at the displays of how perfect living rooms, kitchens etc. would look if they weren't decorated by ignorant suckers such as themselves.
After looking at the 1,859,362nd lamp, the stimulus satiation kicked in and I felt the need to take one of the humorously named chairs and smash all the light bulbs in my vicinity. It seems to be a law of nature that you cannot leave IKEA before you have purchased at least one bag containing 100 tea lights. When we loaded the car we had three of those bags.

posted by Bunny at 8:29 PM

Friday, September 05, 2003

Problems with nomenclature
TS and TJ lured me into their apartment with the prospect of dinner but in the end I was stuck with the task of cooking because they were busy setting up a wardrobe. However, I'm not sure whether I'm allowed to call the construct in question "a wardrobe" as TJ forgot to bring along the top board, the shelf and the clothes rail, in short, all parts that enable clothes storage in a wardrobe. With all these parts missing, it's a very tall box stripped from its functionality which now stands in the middle of the living room trying to hide its utter uselessness.

posted by Bunny at 1:54 PM

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Misanthropic me
I'd post something funny if I could think of something but I can't think straight due to the fact that there are too many people around me. What is more, the people-infested air makes me cranky as I have a special secret list of approved rules of conduct that many all people disrespect (maybe because it's so super secret). Anyone who violates those secret rules will have to fear my wrath. However, it's super secret wrath so that they will only realize it when they finally choke on poisoned food. Ha! That's what you get for placing your shampoo on the wrong spot in the shower. *manic laughter*

posted by Bunny at 8:40 PM

Monday, September 01, 2003

Ominous finding
While cleaning my room I found a packet of sleeping pills that my predecessor must have left there. The top of a two meter high wardrobe isn't the normal place to store this kind of medication, I think.

posted by Bunny at 12:01 AM

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