I am
...getting rained on in Tokyo.
...old enough to drink alcohol but not old enough to know when to stop.
...blogging since 02/22/03.

Saturday, May 31, 2003

Catching up
It's nice to be at home again. I'm missing my internet flatrate but I try to catch up on lots of other things. Quality time with Mom and my brother, Vietnamese food and TV. I can't believe that the first thing I've watched on TV for about half a year is "Smallville".

posted by Bunny at 5:46 PM

Friday, May 30, 2003

I got into the wrong coach yesterday. D'oh. Still did manage to get back to Germany. Fortunately I had to change coach a couple of times so that I wasn't stuck with this Belgian guy who talked about god and showed me his Christian music CDs.
I'm going to miss being called "luv" by English people. It was the first hot day in Nottingham and I had to wear my winter coat because it wouldn't fit into the suitcase anymore. Depending on hair endowment, summer is either indicated by the nice feeling of your strands of hair on your shoulder or a sunburn on the dome.

posted by Bunny at 8:35 PM

Thursday, May 29, 2003

Last post from England
I finally noticed a warning label on the British Benson & Hedges package which says "For adult use only". That sounds so dirty.

posted by Bunny at 11:18 AM

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Losing it
Last night I saw a big black spider crawling across the wall in front of me. There was no male spider killable person close. So after a considerable amount of time staring at it moving I decided to get rid of it myself. Okay, I know that it's just a spider and it won't kill me, that it is probably more afraid of me than I of it, that it's a useful animal which will get rid of flies and bugs in my room and that the motto's "live and let live" but I don't really care. It's a spider in a room of an arachnophobe.
I got the industrial strength vacuum cleaner that the university provides for each apartment and tried to figure out how to get the spider without it getting me first. Before doing so I typed a couple of words about the spider to 883 on ICQ and when I looked up, it had disappeared. That really freaked me out. I looked for it everywhere and even cleaned my room but it was plain gone. It would be nice to think that it would have crawled out of the window back into the wilderness but I doubt that it did in the five seconds I took my eyes off it. I imagined that it would crawl over my face during the night and I would eat it accidentally while I sleep. I kept the vacuum cleaner in my room but still haven't found the spider. Now I think I just hallucinated. This is probably the first stage of schizophrenia. Getting freaked out by imaginary spiders really sounds like it. I'm waiting for the voices.

posted by Bunny at 10:04 AM

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Small things # 1
I like that AF takes notes on envelopes instead of using sheets of paper.

posted by Bunny at 6:13 PM

Six essays, one presentation and four exams down. One more to go. I expected sleepless nights during my Erasmus semester. But not like this. Rather like that: Auberge Espagnole.

posted by Bunny at 12:43 PM

Monday, May 26, 2003

Annie is egotistic
One always finds funny but useless stuff on the internet. Here's a best of "Who is Annie?" from Googlism.
  • Annie is the muffin girl
  • Annie is left in the dirt and becomes discouraged
  • Annie is kidnapped and taken to the middle east daddy
  • Annie is almost caught in the cross
  • Annie is 20 inches and made from tea stained muslin
  • Annie is the first to be genetically altered with a gene for an agricultural application
  • Annie is a spunk
  • Annie is this week's echo magazine kitty
  • Annie is not Frank's idea of what a wife should be and the two remain at competitive odds
  • Annie is continuously told she is not and never will be like other girls
  • Annie is just what I need after a successive spates of oh
  • Annie is a rousing outing that will have your children chirping
  • Annie is an exception
  • Annie is no exception
  • Annie is despondent over the news she will have to share daddy warbucks's affection with a stranger

    posted by Bunny at 7:59 PM

  • Sunday, May 25, 2003

    Dumbest thing I've read today
    The pressure to be social through fatty foods can be enormous.
    (Cosmo June issue)

    By reading that I imagined the following scenario:
    Leader of the pack: Come on, eat this doublewhopper with cheese and bacon or you won't be cool!
    Killjoy: Oh no, fatty foods! I can't do that, it's just not right!
    Leader of the pack: You know what? I really don't like you when you're not eating this burger.
    The pack: Yeah, neither do we. If you are no fatty food lover as we are you don't belong with us.
    [moment of silence where Killjoy battles with its food conscious self]
    Killjoy: Okay, give me the burger... And to prove to you that I'm really cool, I'll order a giant portion of curly fries along with this.... and an icecream sundae!
    Leader of the pack: Wow, you're cool after all. Now you're officially allowed to wear our gang emblem.

    posted by Bunny at 9:53 PM

    Saturday, May 24, 2003

    One of my major motivations for getting married some day will be losing my unpronounceable family name but my boyfriend's last name sounds too much like "semen" in English.

    posted by Bunny at 6:51 PM

    Friday, May 23, 2003

    Accomplishment of the day
    The exam was rather a disgrace than an accomplishment. However I did have a moment of success today: I prevented myself from sticking a post-it saying "Please clean the stove after cooking" on top of the stove. I don't want to be labeled as the anal German girl by my roommates.

    posted by Bunny at 11:44 PM

    Slow motion thinking
    It's almost 5 a.m. which means I probably won't go to bed before my exam at 9 a.m. I heard from somebody that you lose a couple of IQ points each time you deprive your body of its well-deserved rest. After all those sleepless nights I must be the living proof of it: For the first time in a couple of days I am not wearing anything black. That's the moment when I chose to spill some coke on my shirt. Memo to myself: Open mouth before drinking.

    posted by Bunny at 5:53 AM

    Thursday, May 22, 2003

    Obsessive compulsive behavior
    My hands feel raw from cleaning the caked oil from the kitchen stove for two hours. This is my personal version of fighting against entropy (entropy being represented by three olive oil abusing roommates). I feel like Monica.

    posted by Bunny at 5:33 PM

    Wednesday, May 21, 2003

    Question of the day
    This question is for the people who still remember "Sam & Max", one of the greatest adventure games of all times:
    Why does Sam wear clothes while Max is naked?

    posted by Bunny at 5:02 PM

    Tuesday, May 20, 2003

    My favorite super power
    The ICQ-concept should be transferable to real life. I need to switch to invisible mode. Or at least to DND. Although, if I had to pick a super power, I'd probably pick stopping the time over invisibility. Do you remember this really, really old sitcom with this girl who could stop the time by making her index fingers meet because her father was an alien? Situations where stopping time comes in handy pop up almost every day. Of course, you would have to ignore the physical implausibility inherent with the process of making all those atoms stop moving besides those that represent your body but who cares about physics? Science is just another religion.

    posted by Bunny at 5:45 PM

    Monday, May 19, 2003

    The bad thing about losing weight is that a lot of the weight you lose has formerly been situated in your boobs. The good thing is that Wonderbra has a new collection of underwear with butterfly prints.

    posted by Bunny at 1:23 AM

    Sunday, May 18, 2003

    Do you eat enough vegetables, dear?
    Does ketchup count as a vegetable? I don't want to be lying to my mother.

    posted by Bunny at 3:41 AM

    Saturday, May 17, 2003

    Observations from the kitchen # 5
    AF showed me her new Italian cookbook which reminds me that I like reading cookbooks most when I'm on a diet. Masochism lurks behind every other corner.

    posted by Bunny at 2:54 PM

    Friday, May 16, 2003

    Childhood memory # 4
    Dolls can be really scary. Please check out the "Terrifying dolls" section of this site (link via Fragrant Lotus).
    When KN was little he dreamt that all the dolls in the house came alive and wanted to kill him. So he tried to get help from his mom but when she turned around she was a doll, too.
    Ah, the carefree and innocent time of childhood....

    posted by Bunny at 4:44 PM

    Thursday, May 15, 2003

    The globetrotter's guide to instant relief
    Some people have a standard repertoire of phrases that they know in about 10 foreign languages. These usually include "hallo, my name is ..." and "I love you", some cuss words plus two extra-phrases in French ("Voulez-vous coucher avec moi" and "Michelle ma belle lalala", thanks to the music industry). Usually you don't need to learn much more than those phrases because you can point at stuff you want or pantomime. But please do not forget the most basic phrase of them all: "Where is the toilet?"
    It will save you from playing charade with total stranger when they have to guess "the nearest place where I can make pee-pee." Of course the "I really really really need to go.... quickly...!"-dance is understood everywhere but is on the same embarrassment level.

    posted by Bunny at 7:38 PM

    Metaphor of the day
    'Economic anorexia' (Title of an article about Japan's demand problem)

    posted by Bunny at 12:09 AM

    Wednesday, May 14, 2003

    Childhood memory # 3
    When I was in 7th grade, it was customary to write little notes ("Do you want to be my boyfriend/girlfriend?") and to hand them to the opposite sex. The receiver of the "love letter" would tick one of three magic boxes: "Yes"/"No"/"Maybe".
    When I finally got the courage to write one of this notes, I gave them to a boy saying "This is for you". In my excitement I hadn't folded the note but crumpled it to a little paper ball. He mistook the letter for trash and threw it in the bin next to him. Ouch.

    posted by Bunny at 3:43 PM

    Tuesday, May 13, 2003

    Strange finding
    Just flipped through an old magazine and found a squashed spider inside. I don't remember to have killed it. Must be a case of spider suicide.

    posted by Bunny at 9:42 PM

    At the undergraduate office
    I had to hand in an essay at the postgraduate office but I had no clue where that was. Fortunately I stand right in front of the counter of the undergraduate office, a nice lady stands up from her desk and walks over.
    Me: Excuse me, do you know where the postgraduate office is?
    She: It's room A71. Just the other end of the corridor.
    Me: Uh, could I maybe borrow your stapler, please? [holding a bunch of paper, i.e. two copies of my essay]
    She [annoyed]: You're a postgraduate? Then you really should ask in the postgraduate office. We don't do this usually. I can make an exception this time and staple this for you if you want. Now, do you want to have this stapled?
    Me: Um,...I'm fine. Thanks. [walk away fast]
    Wow, I didn't know that people can go psycho because of a stapler. This kind of person would stab you with a fork if you asked her to pass the pepper.

    posted by Bunny at 5:08 PM

    Monday, May 12, 2003

    Little things
    It's the little things that keep you going on. This morning I saw a fox cross the road and little ducklings in the pond... and I got 65 on this essay that I did in a rush job of 1½ days. In the UK 65 means "Careful and clear piece of work". Anything over 80 is beyond reverence. This is a weird grading system.

    posted by Bunny at 11:35 AM

    The Mirror Project
    I submitted my first picture for The Mirror Project.

    posted by Bunny at 10:11 AM

    Sunday, May 11, 2003

    Bathroom moment
    Japan is a strange place: They have writing that takes years to learn. They think dried squid is a tasty snack. They think high school students should wear uniforms inspired by the Prussian army. Their vendor machines sometimes contain used panties. J-Pop will make you want to rip off both your ears and spent the rest of your life in the monastery of the mute monks.
    On the other hand, Japan is one of those places which seem familiar. They also obsess about Valentine's Day and Xmas. They have coffee, baseball and sushi. However some things we seem to have in common differ in the details...such as high-tech toilets featuring a seat warmer, bidet, bottom-washer and dryer, a lid lifter, and a digital clock that tells you how long you've been in the bathroom. It produces a discreet flushing sound to disguise any unpleasant noises.
    When KG went on a trip to Japan, she used one of those high-tech johns. Then she realized that she didn't know which button to press in order to flush. She stood up and tried a button. Suddenly the toilet spit at her. The jet of water was the toilet's bottom washer. KG's bottom had already left the toilet seat so the water jet shot aimlessly over the rim of the toilet. She tried to shield the water off with her hand but couldn't make it stop. Then she hit another button...which triggered the bottom blow dryer. Now warm air blew into her face in addition to the water. After frantically pressing all the other buttons that were left, KG emerged from the toilet soaked but she had managed to flush...and the floor of the bathroom was almost dry.

    posted by Bunny at 4:55 PM

    Saturday, May 10, 2003

    Romantic comedies
    Romantic comedies take place in a world where the following axioms apply:
  • Love conquers all problems
  • Soul mates exist
  • People who hate each other in the first half of the movie will definitely hook up
    Will this mean you will find true love in your nemesis from high school? Um, ... rather unlikely! Stuff like that isn't for real: this is the lovers' parallel universe. This is where Meg Ryan lives. Scientists found that people who are in love have similar chemical abnormalities in their brains as mentally ill patients. Both groups have a distorted perception of the world. Only that Hollywood makes more money out of lovers' parallel universe...

    posted by Bunny at 1:45 PM

  • Friday, May 09, 2003

    Big sister
    On Wednesday I had a brother-sister chat. That's one of the few moments where I can free up some time for my brother lately which is sad because we now get along spectacularly. This is one of life's ironies. When I hated that little brat for existing and drawing all the attention to him, I had to spend a substantial amount of my time with him. We argued so much that my parents had a new wall set up to divide our big room into two small rooms. Now I offer to give him coaching for his internship applications and buy him CDs. I probably try to compensate for the brain damage that he must have suffered when I regularly hit him in the head as a little child.

    posted by Bunny at 3:25 PM

    Thursday, May 08, 2003

    I'd be an awful stalker. I've been in San Francisco for four weeks and the only thing that came close to making contact with mighty girl (whose blog made me start my own) was looking up her number in the phone book. But it's nice to think that I might have passed her on the street without even knowing it.

    posted by Bunny at 9:17 PM

    Wednesday, May 07, 2003

    Level 7
    According to the Dante's Inferno test, I'd be in Hell if I were stuck in a nice place where the Minotaur guards some mass murderers who take a swim in their victims' boiling blood and simultaneously try to dodge arrows shot by centaurs. Oh, and don't forget the suicides dangling from trees which they generously share with the harpies!
    Hell according to Kevin Guilfoile is less dramatic but corresponds better with my personal concept of it. At the moment I may not be in Hell but I'm definitely in some sort of hell. Think presentation. Think Powerpoint. Think teamwork. L'enfer, c'est les autres. How true.

    posted by Bunny at 7:43 PM

    Tuesday, May 06, 2003

    The globetrotter's guide to better dining
    When abroad you will frequently find yourself in the situation where people will look at you with a blank smiling face while you talk. However, dear reader, be not mistaken: Those people are not deaf, there is no need for you to raise your voice. Let us review a possible scenario: A restaurant containing you & a waiter.
    You: I'd like to have a glass of white wine [blank stare from the waiter] WHITE WINE...A G-L-A-S... O-F...W-H-I-T-E...W-I-N-E! [the offended waiter walks away]
    Well, there you are. Nobody took your order. And no wine. Meanwhile the waiter is in the kitchen complaining bitterly to the cook that some asshole shouted at him. It's a good thing that you weren't able to order. Believe me, you wouldn't want to try the cream of mushroom soup after you shouted down that poor waiter. The cook is his best friend.
    So let's rewind to the beginning of the scene. The waiter has just approached your table. You smile. And point. To another table where somebody smart enough to speak the local tongue already ordered his wine. You gesture with your hand and make drinking noises. The waiter's face lightens up with understanding. Of course: you want wine! Don't be afraid, sir. You may be dumb enough to be a tourist without a travel dictionary but as long as your wallet is with you, your wishes are our command. You point to the cream of mushroom soup. The waiter nods enthusiastically: Mushroom soup it is, sir! You congratulate yourself on your highly advanced ability to make yourself understood. The waiter returns with both red wine and hepatitis-free cream of mushroom soup. Of course, white wine would complement the delicate flavor of the mushroom soup so much better but let's not get carried away, shall we? In Kongabowongaland or whatsitcalled, it's a miracle that they even know what wine is.

    posted by Bunny at 5:04 PM

    Word of the day
    Parthenogenesis: reproduction by development of an unfertilized usually female gamete. Boys, you're dismissed!

    posted by Bunny at 3:08 AM

    Monday, May 05, 2003

    ICQ after midnight
    TJ (1:12 AM) : Yesterday somebody offered me a blowjob in the library - isn't that nice?
    anniebunny (1:12 AM) : by a stewardess?
    anniebunny (1:13 AM) : whose name is claudia?
    TJ (1:13 AM) : Unfortunately: no. (what am I saying...I'm faithful...) by a hand that reached through a book shelf and gave me a note - don't even know whether this was some gayboy or a hot chick
    anniebunny (1:14 AM) : what? really? You usually know by looking at the hand whether it's a guy or a girl, don't you?
    TJ (1:14 AM) : Quote: "U are cute man, if u wanna have a blowjob meet me outside the library in a couple of minutes" - stupid, isn't it?
    anniebunny (1:14 AM) : rofl - and, did you want a blowjob?
    TJ (1:16 AM) : Of course I didn't!! I sat down and studied for half an hour so that I wouldn't meet Her/Him/It - scared that somebody's hand would touch my crotch before I could escape
    TJ (1:17 AM) : I'll never know who that was - but it was funny... especially this thing with the hand reaching through the shelf - how pathetic is that?!
    anniebunny (1:17 AM) : Who knows, maybe you missed the time of your life?
    TJ (1:18 AM) : I have a girl-friend and I don't need any times of my life!
    anniebunny (1:18 AM) : but at that moment she wasn't there to give you a blowjob, right? Who knows, it could've been the best blowjob in your life? Although... if I were a man, I'd be careful with blowjobs, ... I'd only put my penis into the mouths of people I'd trust.
    TJ (1:20 AM) : I don't care where YOU put YOUR penis, dear Annie!!!

    posted by Bunny at 3:03 AM

    Sunday, May 04, 2003

    Childhood memory # 2
    My parents used to tell me that the devil would come and take me with him if I didn't finished off the food on my plate. Illuminated with the light of modern pedagogy this might appear drastic but it's just another version of the "If you don't eat up your dinner, it's gonna rain tomorrow, kid!"-approach to teaching kids some discipline. I lived quite well with this concept until I was very sick one day. I forced myself to eat dinner but ended up throwing up most of it again. When I asked my mother whether the devil would come now and take me away, she thought about it for a second and replied: "No, honey, it's okay. For this time he'll make an exception."

    posted by Bunny at 4:43 PM

    Ego-boost or not dot com
    blog.hotornot.com seems to be working again, so feel free to rate me.

    posted by Bunny at 3:12 PM

    Saturday, May 03, 2003

    Observation from the kitchen # 4
    My apartment smells like a lard factory. I have long marveled at the fact that my flatmates can eat/drink so much oil without looking like a stranded whale or at least like one of these obese kids that barely fit into these class room chairs with the attached table but now my amazement has made way to annoyance. If they just ate it, it would be ok but the whole kitchen seems to be sticky with condensed oily vapor. The hot plate is caked with a black crust that had been olive oil in a former life. My inner German is unleashed and screams for the cleaning lady who hasn't showed up for a while. I can guess her reasons. On the other hand, the cleaning lady might already have seen worse: There's a poster in the kitchen to remind us not to leave trash in the apartment as "this could encourage maggots to breed if left for some time". How often must this have happened in order to convince the administration of the necessity of such a poster?

    posted by Bunny at 11:21 AM

    Friday, May 02, 2003

    Meat is poison!
    This is either a funny story on cows in an Outback restaurant or a story of unsuccessful actionism. Whatever you make of it. I prefer the first interpretation.

    posted by Bunny at 12:14 PM

    Thursday, May 01, 2003

    If I only had....
    2 ½ hours of class which consisted of three presentations with almost identical content. It was something about risk society as a new social paradigm, reflexive modernity, consequences for corporate management, blablabla. And now I have to write a 2,500 word essay on it. I knew I just should've married a rich guy. After doing some home decorating and shopping I would be watching the gardener weeding the garden, watering the roses and cleaning the pool. I would tell the housemaid to dust the books in the library. Whenever my incredibly rich husband would come back from his long and tedious working hours, we would try to get me impregnated so that I would have a hobby besides charity work and playing the trophy wife on cocktail parties. I would call the kids Sophie and Maximilian. If I ever grew tired of the kids, we could send them to a Swiss boarding school. Then I would get myself a cat.

    posted by Bunny at 9:01 PM

    What to do with your spare time
    Stuart has some projects inspired by Project Mayhem. For the ones who prefer more peaceful and legal activities, I suggest squirrel fishing.

    posted by Bunny at 2:05 PM

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